The House Of Commons Catfight ! ( Theresa May will Win )


Rebel With A Clue: The Big Fight ! To the Commons, then, to see the great catfight. Harriet Harman, the Leader of the House, was defending herself against allegations of political sleaze. Her tormentor was Theresa May. I arrived to find both dressed to duel. Harriet had chosen white, the colour of innocence. Theresa was in leather and leopardskin. This was not good cop, bad cop so much as good girl, bad girl. Yes, in politics these days, sisters are doing it for themselves, though not, perhaps, as the suffragettes would have foreseen it. These two really are opposites who do not attract. Theresa may be famous for wearing silly shoes but she can be sharp with the stiletto. Harriet would not be caught dead wielding a stiletto for, of course, they are bad for your posture. I was hoping that the fur would fly except Harriet, I’m sure, hates fur. Theresa attacked first with all the restraint of the Psycho shower scene. She accused Harriet of being “engulfed” in a sleaze scandal. Theresa demanded that the House’s weekly topical debate should be on party funding sleaze. When told, by the Speaker, to behave herself she was magnificently deceitful. Sleaze. Sleaze. Sleaze. How Theresa loved that word. For her, and all Tories, it rhymes with Schadenfreude. You could hear the joy in her voice as she used it once again, just for fun. Harriet looked at her notes, occasionally scribbling something. (I would like to think it was: “What a cow!” but I don’t think that Harriet would approve